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Dear new milspouse, it’s not all bad

Dear new military spouse,

Here you are at the very beginning of your military spouse journey and you’re not so sure about it. Yes, you love your new spouse and are still basking in that newlywed glory, but you’re worried about what this lifestyle holds for you. You’ve heard the horror stories about awful duty stations, deployments that never end where everything goes wrong, FRGs full of drama, having to put YOUR life and career on hold as you move 4 times in 5 years.

I’m going to be completely honest with you: there are some parts of being a military spouse that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Parts of our lifestyle flat out suck and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

But new military spouse, if all anyone ever tells you about are the sucky parts, they are also lying. Because as hard as being a military spouse can be sometimes, it can be just as wonderful.

Being a military spouse has some truly fantastic moments.

Like when you get that first hug after a long separation and suddenly all is right with the world.

Like when you see the pride in your spouse’s eyes when they talk about a great day at work.

Like when you find your military spouse tribe: the group of fellow spouses who just get it and you create friendships that last across the years and duty stations.

Like when you (not so) secretly ogle your spouse in his/her uniform because they look so darn good in it.

Like when you get the unique opportunity to live in a foreign country and explore a different culture.

Like when you learn to make the most of time with your spouse because you know it’s limited.

Like when you find the pens in your spouse’s uniform pocket BEFORE it goes through the washing machine.

Like when you succeed in holding down the fort during a deployment: handling everything it throws at you and thriving during the time you’re apart.

Like when you trip over his boots for the 20th time, but smile anyway because it means he’s home.

Like when he stops shaving during a 96-hour and you think how handsome he looks with a little bit of scruff.

Like when you get to be all fancy at a military ball and feel a little like a movie star for the night.

Like when you feel an extra level of pride every time you see the flag flying or the anthem because you know that your spouse is playing an important role in keeping our country free.

You see dear military spouse, as tough as this life can be, you will find wonderful parts as well, if only you’re willing to look. As you take the first few steps down the long road of being a military spouse, I hope you continually work to find the silver lining. Even though every day may not be great, there will be something great in every day.

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