There are no ifs, ands or buts about it, deployments are hard and they are not something I enjoy. But I am encouraged that when I look back on them, I can pick out things that I’ve learned, things I want to improve upon and even things I’m grateful for.
Yup. You read that right.
There are aspects of deployments that I find myself being thankful for.
I’ll let that sink in for a moment or two.
Now obviously, if A came home tomorrow and told me he was never going to get deployed ever again, I would be a little happy. He’d be safe, we’d be together…what’s not to love?
But since the chances of that happening are pretty equivalent to me growing wings and taking flight, I have learned to make the best of my current situation and find the silver lining in the cloud known as deployment.
I am grateful that deployments give me a large amount of me time. I revert back to a version of me who can do pretty much whatever she wants. I eat what I want, watch tons of trashy TV, go to bed super early just because I can and don’t really worry about looking cute when at home. It’s freeing.
On the flip side of that, having six uninterrupted months of me time allows me to be more giving, more flexible and far more present in the moments that A and I do get to spend together. Suddenly, I don’t mind watching 8 straight hours of football on a Sunday because I’ve already spent 10 straight hours watching old episodes of The Amazing Race.
Deployments make me thankful for all that A does around the house. You never really appreciate someone else cleaning the toilets until you have to touch the toilet brush. In a similar vein, I also find myself being really thankful for all that A does for me. Running to the store because I forgot, making dinner when I’m exhausted, walking B when it’s super cold out, making me pancakes on Sunday mornings…all of these little things may get taken for granted if I never got to experience what life was like without them. Especially those pancakes. They’re delicious.
And last, but certainly not least, I am forever grateful that we get to be in the honeymoon phase of our relationship far longer than if we were together all the time. When A gets home, it will be like we’re first dating all over again. We get to keep our newlywed vibe and do all the cutesy/gross things (like just sit and look at each other) a little longer/forever because there are big stretches of time we can’t.
I’ll take a few clouds for that kind of payoff!