You weren’t supposed to come this soon. In fact, you weren’t supposed to come at all, but here we are, giving each other the 4 month long stare down.
I bet you think that you intimidate me. That you scare me. That instead of sleeping at night, I toss and turn with you on my mind. I bet you think that you’ll beat me.
You think wrong.
I used to be scared of you and all of your unknowns, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t do me any good to be afraid. I used to dread you and fight you at every turn, but I know now that you will come no matter what. I used to allow you to flatten me, but now?
Now, I am unflattenable.
Errr…I am less easily flattened.
I am stronger now. I wouldn’t wish you on anyone because you’re hard and pull loved ones apart for months on end. But I no longer fear what you mean for my relationship. I know that my marriage is deployment-strong. My relationship can outlast the longest of long distances and be stronger on the other side.
I’m not afraid of you anymore, deployment. You can no longer intimidate, scare or beat me. I will crush you, deployment. I will fill my days with activities so that in a few months I will look back and not even remember your role in my life.
Dear deployment, bring it on.