Deployment

Deployment ABCs: Loneliness

August 4, 2016

The Deployment ABCs is a 26-week series where I cover every deployment-related topic, from care packages to homecomings to OPSEC. Tips, tricks and maybe a resource or two to help military spouses navigate their way through the craziness that is a deployment.  If there’s a topic you’d like for me to cover or are interested in adding your own thoughts to, send me an email and we’ll chat! 

Dear lonely military spouse,

I get how you feel. I know what it’s like when the house is quieter than normal and the bed has more room, but in a bad way. I still haven’t figured out how to cook for one less person and still make things taste right. And yes, there’s only so much of your favorite guilty pleasure show you can watch. Bottom line: I’ve been there. I’ve been lonely during deployments.  We all have. And it sucks.

I could use the next however many words to give you all sorts of optimistic advice and sayings. But I won’t.

I could tell you that the deployment will end and your spouse will be home again, under your feet and in your way and you’ll miss the days of having the bathroom to yourself. But I won’t.

I could encourage you to get out of the house, visit friends and do all the things. But I won’t.

I could remind you of all the extra “you” time you’re getting during these next few months. But I won’t.

I won’t because you’ll still be lonely after reading them. This blog post won’t bring your spouse back home no matter how many suggestions I give you. I know that.

So I won’t give you advice. I won’t try to fix it.

Instead I will tell you this: you may be lonely, but you are not (nor will you ever be) alone. 

You have an entire family of men and women who have stood in your shoes and are ready to lift you up when you need it. They are on social media or in support groups or even right down the road. They understand how you feel because they’ve been there too. Talk to them. Cry on their shoulder and hold their hand. It’s ok to feel lonely, but dear brave military spouse, you are not alone.

Dear #milspouse: you may be lonely, but you aren't alone. Click To Tweet
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  • I remember at the beginning of my husband’s first deployment (in the middle of the winter along the Canadian border), I would look forward to chatting with the check-out cashier at the grocery store because I was so lonely. It was so cold and the snow was so high that I pretty much was a hermit that first month. Once I started meeting people, things got better but boy, was that first month rough!

  • Brittany Dawson

    I love this. I remember my husband’s first deployment and how lonely the house felt sometimes. It sucks, but it really does help to connect on social media or in person with others going through the same thing. 🙂

  • Jen

    It’s amazing how the loneliness can sneak up on you, some days I would be fine and others not so much.

  • Nicole D’Amato

    You have such an amazing blog<3 I love this advice! I'm a military wife as well and we survived a 7 month long deployment, and at times it was hard but you're right, I was never alone! I just started following you on bloglovin, I would love a follow back. I look forward to more of your posts!

    xo Nicole
    http://www.damatoadventures.blogspot.com

  • <3 love this.